I find a glass of Pure Mike cleanses the palette after a serve of Fresh Dave.

The time was right. Vladimir would share his secret. He whispered into the ear of his close friend Yuri, “rearrange these words comrade: nuts is Svetlana freakin”

It’s interesting to note that in the current market, the price of God and the price of Salmon is exactly the same – $5.99 a kilo!

Two things I love in a t-shirt: a profound message and length. The search is over!

Jorge woke on Tuesday and without warning, there it was; a fashionably-challenged brunette growing out the back of his head.

If pressed, Ira Stinklefinger would say she was equally proud of both her boys. But secretly she wished Shane was more like Peter.

The poster looked amazing, I stood majestic. But to hold the next meeting at the stables off Waterford Avenue, well, that was simply a stroke of genius.

Now, if I could just find the right balance of tact and sincerity to tell Megan that I fancied the shit outta the back half of Roger and Susan’s centaur, Maximus.

The fuck you looking at!

1. The temple explodes the chicken cube

2. The soil bean burns the beef

3. The water boils the beef

4. Slip away the chicken slice

5. Chicken silk noodles

6. Black mushrooms rape

Torture numbers, and they’ll confess to anything. – Gregg Easterbrook